Ups and Downs

            I started this blog on an up.  Wednesday night I was leading middle school bible study at my church, and as I was teaching, I felt God’s presence in an amazing way!  I think I was still reveling in that feeling when I made the decision to create the blog on Thursday night.  Of course, I chose to create the blog instead of going to bed like I should have.  So Friday I was super tired, and I had a really busy day.  Friday night I was at choir practice, and once again, I felt like God was really close to me during a time of prayer!  It was another neat experience, and I had fun at choir practice.  But because of two late nights in a row and a busy day in between, I was exhausted.   I chose not to set my alarm, so I slept very late Saturday (aka it was afternoon when I got out of bed!)  Even after I got up, I was so tired that I just couldn’t make myself do any work.  I have a long list of assignments I need to be working on, so I just got frustrated at myself.  I felt so overwhelmed by all that I had to do and by the fact that I didn’t feel like I had the energy to do any of it.  I did manage to get a few things done, but it was not even close to what I wanted or needed to get done.  I was pretty mad and frustrated at myself, so Saturday was definitely a low. 

            This morning, I almost went back to sleep, but I managed to get to Sunday school on time.  In Sunday school, I was blessed with a lesson about God showing up in the midst of the whirlwind! (Job 38:1-7)  It seemed to fit perfectly with the way I was feeling yesterday.  After church, I had to eat lunch and run errands.  By the time I got back to my room, I was feeling tired again.  I wasted some time, and then made myself go to the library to study.  I got some reading done, but not nearly enough.  And here I am now, sitting on my couch watching a tv show because I don’t want to miss the new episode.  I wish I could blame my problems on the long list of assignments I have to complete or something else, but I know it’s my own fault.  I also wish I could say I had an amazing weekend where I got a lot of work done and spent lots of time pouring over God’s word, but I can’t.  In the end, I know I probably needed the rest, and I will get all my work done eventually.  But I still feel frustrated with myself, and I know that it will make my already busy week busier.  I guess it just goes to show that I’m still a work in progress like everyone else in this world.